What Have I Done?
by Rosa Cotton
Summary: What choices we make can have little effect on others and the future. Or what we do can possibly set off a chain reaction of events, leading to the salvation or ruin of all.


Disclaimer: I do not own Eowyn or any of the other characters, creatures, setting, location, etc. They belong to the Tolkien Estate and New Line. I just own the parts of the plot which obviously wanders from the plot in the movie. 

Author's Note: I got the idea for this story after reading about The King of the Golden Hall of The Two Towers section at Angels & Elves.com. I would deeply appreciate any feedback. 

~~~  

What Have I Done?

Advice given. Advice not heeded. All actions have consequences, small or big, for good or evil. We can have an impact on those we come in contact with, and those we never know of or see in our lifetime. What choices we make can have little effect on others and the future. Or what we do can possibly set off a chain reaction of events, leading to the salvation or ruin of all. We can only imagine what would have happened if we had chosen differently.  

~~~ 

As I gaze out upon this world which is full of gray, evil, and fear, I cling to the last bit of unexplained hope I have that Middle Earth will somehow not be covered in darkness again, as legend tells of long ago. And I wonder how it has come to this. Is it because of me? Am I the one to blame for this?

_"Wait."_

That one little word was all he said as he held me back. It was a suggestion and at the same time a command. He seemed to try to tell me that it would be all right, that everything would make sense in the end. It was he who did not understand! Gandalf – whom from that moment I saw as a betrayer – was hurting Théoden, possibly killing him. This man was with Gandalf. I could not trust him anymore than the wizard.

_"Stop!__ Leave him alone!"_

The tense moment between Théoden and Gandalf ended as I tried to push the wizard away. He simply looked at me with deep sorrow, as though my defending my uncle had somehow turned the tides of time. Then Théoden fell to the ground. Before I even turned him over, I knew I had been too late.

I turned my anger on these travelers who had brought ill will to this household. Grima and Gandalf I commanded to be out of the city within the hour. Never did I desire to set eyes on them again under pain of death. The other three I had locked up in prison. I then sent out search parties to find Eomer and his company. 

That night as I tried to sleep, I was filled with grief at Théoden's passing. Yet I felt I had avenged him with the banishment of the two traitors. I was disturbed in the night by a great noise of pounding feet and shouts and clanging of metal. I had only climbed from my bed when the door was banged down. Orcs spilled in. Orcs bearing the white hand of Saruman. Saruman! This was the perfect chance for him to move, for who is here to lead in defending ourselves?  Momentarily I wished Gandalf were not gone, but I pushed the thought away, for both he and Grima must have been Saruman's instruments.  I could not reach for anything to defend me before I was in their clutches. As they led me through passage after passage, I saw more and more of my fallen people, who lost the fight. 

I was brought into the Golden Hall where many orcs stood with their captives. I looked about the terror-stricken faces and noticed that the prisoners had been brought up. I was led to stand beside them. An orc, who must have been the leader, looked at us all, growling low in his throat. He smiled, which caused me to shudder. He nodded his head in affirmation, and we were about to be led away.

_"Except for them."___

The orc pointed at me and the man who had tried to stop me from going to Théoden.  

_"They are wanted by the Master."_

I looked at the man, whose fear mirrored my own. We were blindfolded and carried off. I was trapped in a world darker than that which covered Edoras the last few years. I was in and out of consciousness. When I finally opened my eyes again, I was in still more darkness. The sun never appeared again. I was in another cage, a prison. I was plagued by dreams, things which had happened, and things of which I had no knowledge if they were real or not: Eomer was killed. Edoras was burned. What appeared to be two children were being hugged by friends. A rain of arrows flew into a pool of water. A scream rises into the air, from the dark-haired man.

As I recall my dreams, I can only wonder what they mean. And I can only wonder and imagine if somehow what I did on that particular day influenced my being here and what I see out the little window of my cage.

I pause and wait -- why and for what I have no idea. I can sense that everything also pauses.  I feel the little hope in me brighten, flicker, and go out. The gray outside turns to darkness. _A second darkness,_ I tell myself. Forever hope is gone. Those who had the strength and will to fight the darkness are gone. Places that withstood evil have fallen. I only listen, as a great laugh of victory sweeps across the four corners of the earth. The beasts screech a triumphant echo in the darkness. 

I cannot even weep for what has been lost forever. _What would have happened if I had listened to him? If I had waited, where would I be today? I am swimming in guilt, wondering how I have contributed to the fall of Middle Earth._

THE END 


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